THE MEAN FEAT OF DRIVING IN MADRAS

During a recent discussion with a few friends the subject veered to the nature of road traffic in Madras when one friend exclaimed, “If you can drive in Madras, you can drive anywhere”. While all my friends were in agreement with him, I differed for driving in Madras cannot be ever treated as a qualification.

If someone were to come and tell me that he was well experienced in driving on the roads of Madras, I would frown down upon him and label him as a chaos creator. You may wonder why I say this but if you have ever driven or witnessed traffic in Madras you will understand what I mean by this.

A good driver who meticulously follows the rules of the road will never fit into the traffic in Madras. It is only those who don’t bother about signals, those who never hesitate to go the wrong way on a one way street, those who never hesitate to overtake on the wrong side and cut abruptly into your path, those who don’t know the meaning of yellow median lines or white zebra crossings and those who will resort to anything to get their way who can survive on the roads of Madras.

Therefore I wish to warn all those who consider their experience of driving on the roads and streets of Madras as an accomplishment not to ever proclaim it so for a Madrasi driver will only cause chaos by his driving habits wherever he may go for his mind is conditioned to driving so…

Before I finish, let me warn you that I too have been driving on the roads of Madras for about forty years now and every day is a nightmare which I am not proud about. To prove my point I must conclude that driving in Madras has only helped me develop hypertension

THE TRUTH BEHIND THE ‘Q’ AS FOUND IN THE LACK OF IT IN AN INDIAN QUEUE

We Indians are notorious for the usage of the ‘Q’. In fact we always fail to understand the implications and the connotations of the ‘Q’. ‘Q’ for us is just another letter in the English alphabet. We fail to understand that ‘Q’ stands for Quality though we understand the word Quantity which in terms of the population, we have in plenty. We use the ‘Q’ without any respect for the rigours of self discipline and the values that it entails. In fact at times we even substitute ‘Q’ for ‘I’ which shows our own selfishness and lack of empathy to others. For those of you who still do not understand the ‘Q’ I am referring to, I must clarify that the ‘Q’ I am referring to is the English word ‘Queue’.

In this connection I must share with you all a news item that I read recently which claimed the popular TV show 'Satyameva Jayate is all fake and humbug’ and that Amir Khan the host of the show who claims he is trying to change the nation for the better; doesn't himself follow rules and regulations as posted by a Chennai resident Shyamala Ashok on her Facebook page. The post immediately went viral on most social networks.

She says "I was in the queue to scan my baggage at Chennai Airport. Aamir Khan of Satyamev Jayate just breaks the line followed by his escorts and a few others.... If these guys do not have a simple concern that many others have been waiting in line and that they should also obey rules, why the hell are they associated with programs such as Satamev Jayate etc. - It's all fake and humbug."

In this respect I must tell Shyamala that "Satyameva Jayate" is just a TV Programme and is only interested in TRP ratings and not in the values it propagates.... This is typical of most of us Indians. We believe that rules are meant only for others and that we can justify our own breaking of the rules under some excuse or the other.

The Queue by its very absence in our country shows the lack of another ‘Q’ which is Quality. Most of us find ourselves in a situation where we have to compromise in the queue; I wonder how many of us really follow the queue. We in India do not like to be behind others and prefer to be one-up on the others, that is why we prefer to break the queue rather than follow the queue.

The population of our country is such that we have large numbers flocking for almost anything that is in demand. Be it the queue at the ration store or be it the queue at the petrol bunk or be it the queue at the railway station, we simply do not have the patience to wait for our turn and would rather prefer to get ahead of the others and thereby save time which we would rather spend idling at a coffee shop or at a park bench ogling the girls who go by rather that waste our time in a queue.

The following of the queue reflects on the character of the people of the country in which the queue is found. Unfortunately the queues in our country are only meant to be broken and not to be followed with self discipline.

There are many instances where I have experienced the vagaries of the Indian Queues or the lack thereof but I do not want to bore you with the details and would like to now place a ‘Q’, sorry Question before you. Why is it that we Indians do not respect the queue system? Is it sheer ignorance or plain selfishness? What do we find so bothersome about the Indian queue that we would rather break it than follow it?

While discussing the behavior of Indians in queues within India, I should not forget to mention that the same Indians, steadfastly abide by the queues while they go overseas. However, I should also mention that the same Indians when they return to their Indian soil and stand in the line at the immigration counter, immediately change colours and start breaking the queue. Are we Indians chameleons that change colour according to their environment?

While the breaking of the queues was more common in earlier times in places where the poor had to compete with the rich and had to resort to queue breaking, I find that even the rich and the so called educated are prone to breaking the queues without hesitation even in the elite stores in the posh malls and plazas of the country.

What does this reflect? Does it reflect a malady in the Indian psyche or does it merely reveal our plain selfishness and lack of concern for the others standing in the queue. Your views please….

EXPLORING THE AGE OLD CONCEPT OF DIVIDING AND RULING

I read a rather interesting piece of news today that not only amused me but also set me thinking and I therefore wanted to discuss it with you all.

A common man has filed a petition with the Government of India which claimed that the meat, fish and eggs served in hostels of premier technological institutions was luring many vegetarian students towards non-vegetarian diets, which represent western culture. Therefore, he had petitioned that there should be separate canteens and mess halls at these eminent tech schools.

Government sources said the HRD ministry had forwarded the petition to all the premier technological institutions on 15th October 2014.

Based on the prompt response of the Government it is expected that very soon India will be divided into two countries namely, Vegetarian India (VI) and Non Vegetarian India (NVI) based on their dietary habits.  Shortly thereafter we will have cricket matches played between VI and NVI.

On a side note, I wonder if eating vegetarian food has made the people so weak willed that they cannot resist the lure of non vegetarian food and can be easily swayed by the aroma of the non-veg food which was once considered sickening by my so called vegetarian friends. 

When discussing this with my friends one of my friends who does not like the smell of tobacco smoke but unfortunately has to share his work space with three chain smoking colleagues said that he would like separate offices to be built for smoking and non smoking counterparts of the same organization.

Not to be out done another friend who cannot stomach the smell of a particular brand of perfume which is widely advertised to have magnetic properties in attracting women (my friend is a male and maybe that’s why he didn’t like the perfume) suggested that those wearing such perfume must be provided separate working and living space from that of those who did not use it.

The conversation led me to share my views on how my Dad who did not share my passion for the malt had tried to restrain me from interacting with my malt imbibing friends while I was in college and how he had miserably failed at doing so.

All this bantering amongst friends reminded me of a short story I had written long ago titled “Divide and Rule” for which I am giving the link below:

http://mirrorofsocialreflections.blogspot.in/2012/05/divide-and-rule.html

It made me wonder if the current Government too is going on the path of segmenting and dividing the people to enable them to have convenience of ruling

SILVER SCREEN ROBBERY: WORSE THAN DAYLIGHT ROBBERY

During my youth, I was a movie buff. I used to regularly visit the theatres in Chennai during those days. I fact I believe I hold a few records such as having seen the same movie twenty eight times and sitting in a theatre from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. in what used to be called continuous shows during those days.

 I remember even having visited theatres where they screened two movies back to back for just a rupee and the best part was that they used to allow us to smoke inside while watching the movie. However times have now changed and the movies have now really moved on.

 With the advent of the multiplexes with multiple screens I gradually withdrew from watching movies on the big screen since a common man like me could not afford the high priced tickets and I therefore stuck to watching movies on television and on video. It is quite some time now since I last saw a movie on the big screen and when my daughter who has of late been feeling the pressures of work wanted to relax herself this weekend, we decided to take in a movie and she being a Tamil movie buff she booked tickets for the entire family online for a recent release which none of us had seen.

 The movie like all Tamil movies did not have the story quality that I would want in a movie but that is not the purpose of this post. This post is not to whine about the quality of Indian movies or the price of the tickets but in fact to share my gripe about the price of snacks being served at these multiplexes. All my three kids are voracious eaters and whenever they visit a movie hall they require the inevitable pop-corm and soft drinks.

 With the arrival of the multiplexes the age old tradition of taking snacks from home to the theatres and opening out bags and boxes of snacks and enjoying them while watching the movies did come to an end. As a result most of us who like to nibble at some snacks while watching a movie are being held to ransom by these multiplexes.

 In fact a box of popcorn is as costly if not more as the price of a movie ticket just as much as a watered down fountain Coke or Pepsi or Fanta is. The same popcorn would hardly cost one fifth of the price which they charge in the theatre if purchased form a store outside. I really don’t understand the rational of the high pricing at these theatres and wonder if we could petition the civic authority to prevent this daylight nay silver screen robbery.

 Needless to say that the movie outing cost me so much that I could have very well taken my family to dinner at a five star hotel and ended up paying less than what I spent on the movies.  

THE ETYMOLOGY OF “DURAI”

I have always been fascinated by my surname and what it implies. My surname also contains the word ‘Durai’ which is now being used in my family for the fourth generation. I therefore started seeking the meaning of the word ‘Durai’  and found that ancient Tamil works had always denoted ‘Durai’  as "Chief" or "Leader" but in more recent history especially after the advent of the British rule in India ‘Durai’  was used to denote a white skinned person of European origin; Something akin to ‘Sahib’ or ‘Saab’ in Hindi. 

So much for the history of the word. I would now like to get into the specifics of its usage in my family. My grandfather was called ‘Durairaj or as I like to put it ‘The King of the Durais'. He had four sons; something which we don’t get to see often and something which in Indian society is considered a great asset. 

He named his first son ‘Chelladurai’ and as you may all know ‘Chella’ or ‘Chellam’ is a term of endearment and affection. Naturally my grandfather showered his affection on his first born and therefore called him so. 

Shortly thereafter, a second son was born to him and my grandfather who was a school teacher at that point of time realized the importance of money and the financial constraints placed upon him as his brood increased in strength. He therefore named his second born ‘Ponnudurai’. As those of you who know Tamil may understand ‘Ponnu’ stands for gold or in other words wealth. My grandfather who was feeling the crunch of raising two boys obviously needed wealth and therefore called his second born ‘Ponnudurai’. 

Soon after, my grandfather brought forth into this world his third born; my beloved father whom he called ‘Mangaladurai’. Once again those of you who know Tamil will know that ‘Mangalam’ in Tamil stands for auspicious things and is normally used to denote an auspicious end. I can very well understand the state of mind in which my grandfather must have been on the arrival of his third born and obviously he wanted to put a full stop to his reproductive efforts and that is why he called him Mangaladurai’ but unfortunately or fortunately the mind is a funny thing and has its own ideas and desires. 

As a result he could not stop with three children and soon thereafter he was blessed with his fourth born yet another son whom he called ‘Gnanadurai’. Those of you who know Tamil will also understand that ‘Gnana’ denotes wisdom and finally wisdom dawned upon my grandfather who concluded with his fourth born Gnanadurai’. 

As a young boy I had composed a ditty on the above much to the chagrin of my grandmother and though the exact lines of the ditty have been long forgotten I thought I must share the substance therein and hence this post. The King of the ‘Durai’s gave birth to four ‘Durais’ whose children adopted their respective surnames with great pride and frankly I am proud to be a Mangaladurai’. 

As a mark of respect for my grandfather I have now called my only son as Steve Durairaj Swamy and hopefully he will continue the ‘Durai’ tradition long after I am gone; though I am sure he will not require to go through the process of birthing four ‘Durais’ before wisdom dawns on him. 

(Please note that this post was not meant to hurt the sentiments of any of the “Durais”)